The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
