Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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