How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
