Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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