sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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