Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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