the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
