i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
