just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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