apparently the secret to your success is patron
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
