i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think people are normalizing furries
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
