Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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