she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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