i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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