do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i drank out of a bidet.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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