We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
