his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
