I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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