Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
