nut hugger
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
