so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
