On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
