I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize