so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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