I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize