I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My bed smells like the plague
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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