i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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