ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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