look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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