The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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