you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
nutella sex= disaster
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
