i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
