well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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