I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
