I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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