She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
