instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
