How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
