Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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