My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
