i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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