i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
