Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
