Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize