try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
