I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
