Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
