What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
