I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
