this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
