Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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