at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
