Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
