if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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