His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
