So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize