Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
