omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
