Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
