So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize