ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
