You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
