is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize