every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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