READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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